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	<title>Dreamit2&#039;s Blog</title>
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		<title>Dreamit2&#039;s Blog</title>
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		<title>WANTED</title>
		<link>http://dreamit2.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/wanted/</link>
		<comments>http://dreamit2.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/wanted/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Sep 2009 20:29:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dreamit2</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://dreamit2.wordpress.com/?p=10</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ok, so the chaplain has counseled with me twice now.  He brings up a very good point.  For years now I have dealt with all manner of things in a relationship with someone who continually proves how little I matter to him.  He asked me today why I would ever want to continue that, and [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=dreamit2.wordpress.com&amp;blog=9558552&amp;post=10&amp;subd=dreamit2&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ok, so the chaplain has counseled with me twice now.  He brings up a very good point.  For years now I have dealt with all manner of things in a relationship with someone who continually proves how little I matter to him.  He asked me today why I would ever want to continue that, and if that is what I want to model for my children.  As hard as it is, it made me really think.  Here is what I truly want:</p>
<p>A man who appreciates a good, faithful, loving woman.  A man who puts fidelity, trust, and consideration for all members of his family above all else.  A man who enjoys a home-cooked meal, and a good back and foot rub at the end of a hard day.  A man who involves his wife and children in his life, and actively participates in their lives.  A man who stands beside his wife as they celebrate the joys and victories, and mourn the losses.  A man who recognizes the benefit of a strong-willed woman.  A man who knows that life is not always perfect, but never gives in.  A man who always works for the betterment of his family, finds a way to communicate peaceably, and never ever walks away.  A man who knows that his wife and children are ultimately worth a little short term discomfort.  A man who knows it takes time to build a lasting relationship, and will do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal.  A man who stands by the family he has, rather than deciding it&#8217;s too hard, and going off in a search of a new one.  A man with the courage and conviction to honor his committment.  A man who believes and lives his vow.  A man who wants to be loved more than anything in the world, and wants to return that love in a manner that builds up rather than tears down.  A man who can forgive, move past, and be there no matter what.  A man who wants a woman that is willing and able to do the same.</p>
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			<media:title type="html">dreamit2</media:title>
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		<title>Day 1</title>
		<link>http://dreamit2.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/day-1/</link>
		<comments>http://dreamit2.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/day-1/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Sep 2009 19:30:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dreamit2</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://dreamit2.wordpress.com/?p=8</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Part of me wants to remain in denial.  That is far easier than facing the facts.  Nothing hurts like this.  I&#8217;ve been through things in the past, but this hurts more than all of that combined.  This is a rejection of who I am at the core.  It is so hard not to take it [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=dreamit2.wordpress.com&amp;blog=9558552&amp;post=8&amp;subd=dreamit2&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Part of me wants to remain in denial.  That is far easier than facing the facts.  Nothing hurts like this.  I&#8217;ve been through things in the past, but this hurts more than all of that combined.  This is a rejection of who I am at the core.  It is so hard not to take it to heart when someone flat out says they cannot be with you.  Not only am I trying to handle the pain of being pushed aside by the person I love most in the world, but also deal with the fact that I have made him unhappy.  All I ever wanted was his happiness, and for us to be a family.  Having been down this road before I know what lies ahead for my children.  My older ones will go through yet another divorce, only this time someone they considered a loving parent will be permanently gone from their lives.  Yet, that very same person will continue to see their younger sister a few times a year.  That will hurt them so badly.  My poor baby will know what it&#8217;s like to go back and forth between househoulds with inconsistent rules and lifestyles.  It is confusing, unfair, and not the way any child should ever have to live.  All three of my children will miss out on various opportunities, because as a single mom there is only so much I can do both financially and physically.  They will never have two people in their corner cheering them on at ballgames and school functions.  If they happen to get both parents there then they must choose between them, which is again hurtful and unfair.  They will never know a &#8220;normal&#8221; life.  If I believed deep down in my heart that this absolutely could not work, then I wouldn&#8217;t have held on to it so much.  Marriages and families take work, patience, and understanding.  All of those things take time together, which is something we never ever had.  That is yet another reason this is so sad.  It could have been the greatest thing any of us have ever experienced, but never trying has turned it into the deepest hurt.  I have no clue how to reconcile that, but I must do it quickly.  The kids will need me now more than ever.  I just need someone to come hold me and tell me it will be ok, but that will never happen.  I&#8217;m not sure where I&#8217;ll find the strength for this, but there isn&#8217;t an option.  I&#8217;m all they&#8217;ve got.</p>
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			<media:title type="html">dreamit2</media:title>
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		<title>The Journey Begins</title>
		<link>http://dreamit2.wordpress.com/2009/09/19/hello-world/</link>
		<comments>http://dreamit2.wordpress.com/2009/09/19/hello-world/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 19 Sep 2009 13:02:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dreamit2</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I gave a very brief history of how I got to this point in the About section.  The pity party is over.  I can&#8217;t change it.  All I can do is deal with things to the best of my ability, and try to move forward.  I landscaped my yard today.  It may not have been [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=dreamit2.wordpress.com&amp;blog=9558552&amp;post=1&amp;subd=dreamit2&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I gave a very brief history of how I got to this point in the About section.  The pity party is over.  I can&#8217;t change it.  All I can do is deal with things to the best of my ability, and try to move forward.  I landscaped my yard today.  It may not have been the most productive thing, but it looks great.  I finally got rid of those tangly vines that always bothered me.  Maybe this is the time in my life to pull all the weeds.  We&#8217;ll see&#8230;</p>
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